“You’re a hypocrite”: Cheating man expects his wife to stay with him and raise the affair baby together, she leaves him for someone else with a pre-existing child

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Mar 20, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Almost everyone has some experience with infidelity. Whether you were cheated on, you did the cheating, or someone close to you did it in a way that sundered or affected your whole life, almost everyone has a story behind this treacherous act of treason. Infidelity has no redemption, no benefit, and no beauty. It's ugly, it's betrayal, and it's riddled with disrespect for not only the betrayed, but for yourself as well. You go against your own gut, your own best interests, and it's inherently self-sabotaging. Why not just break up? Why not just have a conversation about things? It would be even better to tell your partner how you're feeling, and to tell them you're thinking of others in that way. 

I don't believe anyone does it "accidentally." It's an extremely conscious act, one that has been brewing for some time before the actual event. Anyone who tells you otherwise is simply lying, and anyone who cheats is inherently lying to you as well. 

You don't just fall into the situation, it stems from thoughts of doing it before it's done. In the story below, I believe this cheater has no excuse for his actions. He wants to have a baby with his wife, but it's revealed she can't become pregnant. Already room for reason, for error. He "accidently" impregnates a coworker. To add insult to injury, he expects his wife he betrayed to raise the affair baby with him. 

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  • 01

    AITA for refusing to take my ex back but accepting my fiancé’s kids?

    "The thought of Frank and his child still hurts me”
    via junce from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My ex-husband-let's call him Frank and I got married deeply in love. After a while, I found out I couldn't have children. Frank wanted kids, and he told me he didn't want to leave me but also wanted to have a child with someone else. I couldn't accept that.
    via u/WiskerRebel
  • 03
    Later, I found out he had gotten a woman from his workplace pregnant. He told me he didn't want to divorce me and still wanted to be with me, but I couldn't stay. Despite his resistance, I divorced him, and he married the mother of his child. This was two years ago.
    via u/WiskerRebel

  • This man is so unhealthy. He cheats on his wife, impregnates another woman, and still expects her to want to be with him?? It's obviously not the same thing that she met another man who previously had children with another woman. This man did not betray her or cheat on her. Even trying to convince her that it's the same thing is just pure evil. 

  • 04
    Now, I'm with someone new— let's call him Mark. Mark is kind, understanding, and has been a great support system for me after everything with Frank. I love him deeply. He has two sons from his previous marriage (ages 3 and 5). They stay with him every other weekend and see him regularly during the week. He's a great dad, and I admire that about him.
    via u/WiskerRebel
  • 05
    Mark and I recently decided to get married, and I'm really happy about it. But ever since Frank found out, he has been trying to contact me. Today, he showed up outside my work. He accused me of being a hypocrite-accepting Mark's kids but refusing to accept his. He said that all he ever wanted was to build a life with me
    via u/WiskerRebel
  • 06
    hu to marry me (off) marriage n c.n (a that makes uniting of a ma and woman by religious and wif leg en a mariage eremony. Ved a churma iage. to hav น. of the state of ing united sh wife: ur marriage Jose ining (of idea etc): Their heriginality and of a very
    via ruigsantos from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    and grow old together and that I was being unfair for not accepting him under the same circumstances.
    via u/WiskerRebel
  • 08
    Logically, I see why he thinks it's the same situation, but it doesn't feel the same. The thought of Frank and his child still hurts me, yet I don't feel the same way about Mark and his kids. Frank insists it's the same, but is it? So AITAH?
    via u/WiskerRebel
  • 09
    Update: Wow, I didn't expect to receive this much support. Thank you all so much! I wanted to address a few things that came up in the comments.
    via u/WiskerRebel
  • 10
    Surgery was not an option for me. We consulted multiple doctors, and in the end, we had to accept that I wouldn't be able to have children. That time was especially difficult for me, and Frank was my biggest source of support. Adoption was also off the table because Frank didn't want it-he wanted biological children. He told me, "I don't want to raise someone else's child."
    via u/WiskerRebel
  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10481617152
    via kieferpix from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    I was the one who first suggested divorce back then, but he swore he would never leave me. He even said, "It will always be just the two of us until the end." And I believed him.
    via u/WiskerRebel
  • 13
    Frank and I met in high school and were together for ten years. I think that's why he knows exactly how to get to me. After our conversation today, I started doubting myself. I even felt like I was the one at fault.
    via u/WiskerRebel
  • 14
    Thank you all for helping me see things from my perspective again. I feel much more certain now.
    via u/WiskerRebel
  • 15
    shyfidelity 11h ago Logically, I see why he thinks it's the same situation, I mean...no? It's not remotely the same situation?
    via u/shyfidelity
  • 16
    DescriptionBulky... • 11h ago NTA. This is definitely not the same situation. Your ex cheated on you, you don't owe him or his child anything.
    via u/DescriptionBulky6258
  • 17
    Your fiance, on the other hand, had his child well before your relationship. Your ex is a cheap liar and your fiance is not in this situation.
    via u/DescriptionBulky6258
  • 18
    Mother Search33... • 11h ago He cheated on you, got another woman pregnant while he was married to you and he is playing victim?
    via u/Mother_Search3350
  • 19
    Tell him to stay away from you or you will be filing harassment charges Definitely NTAH
    via u/Mother_Search3350
  • 20
    Cute-Profession9... • 11h ago An affair baby is not even remotely the same as marrying a parent.
    via u/Cute-Profession9983
  • 21
    RavenclawEC • 11h ago NTA.. accepting to stay with some who cheated on you and had a child it is not the same as starting a relationship and deciding to have a family with someone. who has a child from a previous relationship...
    via u/RavenclawEC
  • 22
    M... • 11h ago ΝΤΑ 11h ago Edited 9h ago This is not even remotely the same situation. Frank cheated on you and then wanted you to be ok with that after the fact. If he truly wanted to be with you and grow old together Frank
    via u/Mac_Jomes
  • 23
    would have discussed with you the options for having children by other methods. There's adoption and surrogacy neither of which requires cheating on your partner.
    via u/Mac_Jomes
  • 24
    Frank can go f himself and you should state that to him unequivocally.
    via u/Mac_Jomes

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